colby bockwoldt

I donapos;t need to post the lyrics, anyone who is curious can look them up. I feel that I have been caught up in a storm, just another piece of debris. Iapos;ve been forgotten about as a human being. I Know that its not on purpose for the most part but between two of my friends constantly at eachothers throats over things that should never have been said to begin with and others forgetting that I am growing and moving forward regardless of what bad things happen in my life, I feel I am just not important to the people that are important to me. Iapos;m breaking. The stress of being the rope that holds together what is left of us is causing me to fray, I canapos;t hold on any longer. Some of you may think Iapos;m being dramatic, that Iapos;m not trying very hard, but you are not here. You are not caught in the middle of this you left. I feel just a bit abandoned, I donapos;t have anywhere I can run to. I havenapos;t been able to have a private moment for a long time. Everywhere I go there are people that need me to wear a mask. Itapos;s starting to no longer be a mask. Iapos;m actually debating if I want to skip my class this evening so I can go out and get a sturdy dowel rod and beat the hell out of some trees, either the rod or the trees will break. I need to smash things and seeing other people need this and take their frustrations out by throwing things out windows, wanting to smash things and take it out on their dogs is just frustrating me more. I just keep bottling it up more and more because the number of things I can smash is dwindling everyday. I also hate that despite my best efforts to be open minded about a situation I am being close minded and unable to hear a friend that wants to talk. At least I hope she does, she always seems to run to someone else. The one person that doesnapos;t need to have this added to his load. I am here, I can do something if you just tell me. Apparently I am not good enough though. I may just up and disapear here soon, I just need me time to recollect myself and figure shit out. Oh wait, Iapos;m broke I canapos;t even do that. Stupid me. Things I used to enjoy are starting to become a chore. Reality hurts, Iapos;m glad the rest of you all have nice cushins to land on, I just fell 20 stories and landed on the rock hard pavement.
I really would like to go and spend time with my family for Thanksgiving, taking along someone more important to me than anything else. I understand it would not be easy for you to get time off, or travel that far in a car but having you there would make it more fun. Otherwise I may get stuck sleeping in the guest room of an old lady that lives next door to my uncle.
I want to do something new, exciting, different. Something that will distract me from the hell my life has become. Something that will let me forget myself.

achiever american black, colby bockwoldt, colby bloodlines, colby bloodline pits, colby bloodline pitbulls.